Road of Death, Road of really significantly annoying circumstances...

So the road of death isn't happening until friday when I get back to La Paz (God willing). But I did get to go on the road of really significantly annoying circumstances. I left Cochabamba at 2200 on Sunday night. I just got to Cuzco. Granted I was planning on having a long layover in La Paz to bike the road of death, which didn't work out. So I left La Paz on the 1400 bus... so 1430 or so. I just got to Cuzco about an hour ago. its supposed to take about 12 hrs. First I paid 100 B's, or about $14 for a semi-cama bus, which is super duper comfortable. So the first bus wasn't semi-cama, but it was only going to Copacabana, about 3 hrs away. then, supposedly, we'd change over to a semi-cama (that means half-bed, btw). So the first bus broke down about 20 minutes into the trip. We were still in El Alto... which is basically the sketchy outskits of La Paz. So we waited about a half hour for another non-semi-cama bus. Went to Copa with little problems. Then had to wait an hour because the "bus" driver was screwing around with his thumb up his ass. or something like that. turns out it was a micro. which is a small van-like vehicle that has about 75% more seats than it should. but that was just going to be until the border about and hour away. then we decided to pick up lots more people, so I was sitting on a nice comfy set of bolts holding a seat to the floor. ow. so then we did the border crossing thing, which wasnt terribly bad. I had to fill out some extra forms because I now have bolivian residency... sort of. I have the official mark in my passport, but I don't actually have a residency card... so that was weird to explain. but I didn't have to pay anything, which is absolutely surprising and fantastic. Then we were supposed to get on the semi-cama bus. nope. another shitty ass little micro. that really pissed me off. but not as much as the 4 hour ride to Puno on the most poorly paved roads that could actually still be considered paved... it would've been much better if the roads weren't paved at all. but as it was, I was squashed in the back with some funny brazilians (fabian and david) getting my head smashed repeatedly against the walls as our nutso driver swerved around to "avoid" potholes. and I had to piss so bad. for about 3 of the 4 hours. and I saw a really cruel sign that said "Puno 57 km"... and about 200 km later we arrived. )(/"·$·$)/&$%$&·€. so then i waited an hour or so in the bus terminal for the "semi-cama" which I didn't really believe existed after 5 hours in micros. I was about ready to kill a llamita at this point, so it was pretty lucky that Ryan Sherman sent me the rap song he and Zach Ogden recorded... helpèd me chill out quite a bit. so I didn't kill any llamas. I did stomp on some flowers though. So then we get on the Semi-cama bus!! it existed after all! I got the front seat next to an old brazilian adventist pastor i had met on the bus from la paz. it was great. for about two hours. then we broke down. and sat there for about 6 hours cause we were in the middle of abso-freakin-lutely nowhere. I've got some pictures. It looks like the lord of the rings or something. so that was really awful because it was about 10·F. and I had given my CG-issued fleece to the old brazilian dude cause he was dumb and only brought a thin sweater. anyways, finally another bus came and it was a regular sort of bus and had too many people on it. so we rode that for about 4 hours until we got to Cuzco. thank God. about 22 hours after I had left La Paz. damn! that was an unpleasant experience. I hear SJ Otey is in Peru... maybe close by? who knows. Anyways, that's my venting about getting to Cuzco. yes, it's a lot of complaining, but its better than me losing it, I guess. So I found out I have to leave thursday AM so that I can make it across the border by 1800 to make it back to la Paz by at least 7am so I can go on the Camino de Muerte bike ride... I wanted to leave thursday evening at least. Fortunately, my buddy Jay might be able to skip work on Friday and come with... that would be sweet. If now, I'll have to play nice with all the european super-tourists. They really are super... they travel for months at a time and go all over. Pretty jealous actually. Not as jealous as I am of the assistant ornithologists I met in a cafe this morning... 3 american college-ish age kids spening 3 months in the amazon basin searching for and marking birds' nests. they each have a 1 sq km area of responsibility... so they basically just go traipsing about all day playing around in the jungle and lookin at animals. dang. maybe I can do that next summer. lol. peace, love, and all that groovy stuff folks. I'm off to meet my family. and find a functional baño. nos vemos.

long overdue and totally insufficient, but here it is...

Blog update...

So I figured nobody was reading my blog, so I stopped. Then I got angry messages calling me lazy, so here I am writing again. So what’s goin on in Bolivia? Well there’s lots of public works goin on and the school here in Nueva Vera Cruz finally got food for the year- which was supposed to be sustaining the school kids since February- so that means… elections must be coming up! Dun dun daa! Padre Pancho had been feeding about 150 kids since february out of his own pocket, so naturally he’s getting repaid by the gov’t who was supposed to be feeding the kids @ the school, right? Right. No wait, that would make sense, so WRONG. Oh, fortunately the teachers at the school have 7 months of extra food that they won’t need since the kids actually ate it all already (naturally, since half of them don’t get nearly enough food at home. Not their fault.), so they should at least give the food “back” to Padre Pancho since he pretty much spent all of his Maryknoll stipend on that. However, the bastards at the school also decided that he (we) should only get 1 bag of rice, 1 bag of corn starch, and a few half bags of other random stuff. And no noodles, btw, which really sucks. So, that in a nutshell’s why things in Bolivia are the way they are. Foolishness, stupidity, greed, etc. Only in Bolivia, can people democratically elect a known murderer and former military dictator.

Ok, there’s one good rant. What else is new… Been reading a bit of theology and philosophy, because I’ve never actually studied either of those things because apparently those aren’t important things to learn. According to the USDoE. Whatev. Been getting into a big compilation of Liberation Theology essays, speeches, documents, etc. Its interesting… I’m not sure I can write any critiques or even revealing synopses of anything therein just yet, cause it all is still so new to me… I feel like I’m just getting into algebra in the world of mathematics, so forgive me if I refrain from trying to explain anything too much… I still just know so little about the subject or even the whole field of theology. Not that I won’t ever, but I shall refrain from expounding on theology until I am less clueless. To be sure, I don’t think that the lack of accuracy I can wreak on said subjects i.e. theology etc, should preclude me from attempting… for that would be fairly Mephistophelean in the tradition of Goethe’s Faust: to think ‘It is better there should never have been anything.’ … but I will refrain for the moment.

THE WILL OF GOD

… now what the hell does that mean? Or maybe what the heaven does that mean? I’ve been told those really effed up genocidal murdering maniacs- the crusaders, that is, used the phrase to justify their ludicrous homicidal rampaging. So… that`s pretty effed up. Anyways, this phrase seems to be used primarily and ineffectively in two circumstances. The first is that extraordinarily unhelpful explanation for human suffering… Why did such and such family members die? Why are there millions of people starving to death in wherever-land? Etc etc, to which some exorbitantly wise person replies, “Well, dear, it’s God’s will. We can’t understand it on account of being humans, but there is some underlying and future reason for x and y calamities.” Well that’s bullshit. Of course there’s no God out there inflicting pain and suffering on we puny and fragile humans. We’ll get to why momentarily. The second circumstance in which “the will of God” is often invoked, a situation which I have many times found myself struggling, especially recently, deals with what one ought to do with one’s life. I figured I had to discern “God’s will”. Now the problem with that is my preconception of God. Or I suppose it’s not really a preconception… but my existing conception which has been erroneously informed (yes, I’m deferring blame. So what). Sure we all have to discern God’s will in one way or another, but -at least in my case- there’s a monumental difference between what I thought was “THE WILL OF GOD”, and what is actually the point of my life. Now I was at least on the right track… I figured the will of God was to serve fellow man. But I rankled at most of the ways I thought that could be manifested… I don’t want to be a priest or brother or doctor (especially not a dentist as my mother continuously begged.) or whatever… and since that’s not what I desire, not what’s in my heart, I didn’t want to do it. And I felt somewhat selfish about it. But thinking about those options I thought “Man, that sounds boring as heck… especially the dentist part!!!”

So what do I think the will of God is in my life? And why do I tell you that there is no God out there inflicting suffering on the world? Understanding God as AGAPE… Because God is pure, complete self-gift. God is agape. God is the love between and in humans. Here’s an interesting fact… nowhere in the new testament are the criteria for “last judgement” described except in Mattthew 25:31-46 (go look it up). And guess what… it doesn’t say you have to go to church or sing in the choir or look really pious or not cuss or write nice christmas cards to everyone you know or wear clean underwear. (Note: I am not stating that those things are good or bad. Just commenting.) It just indicates that the sheep – that’s the good guys - apparently have loved and had mercy on their fellow men by giving food and drink to the hungry and thirsty, clothing the naked, welcoming strangers, and visiting the sick and imprisoned. So for all you folks who aren’t too big on organized religions, well Catholocism, arguably the most organized religion in the world, acknowledges that love of one’s fellow man is really the only important moral question when push comes to shove.

Slight change of subject: If God is this “agape”, this complete self gift, then one ought to devote oneself to giving oneself away in the best way possible. So how is that? Should we all become philanthropic and possibly impecunious altruists letting people walk all over us in the name of “giving oneself away”? Well that sounds lame to me. I think everybody’s got their own vocation of sorts… or more than one, I suppose. For instance, I’m not called to be an artist, mostly cause I really stink at basically anything artistic. I really wish I could draw cartoons though… anyways… According to a certain theologian, Michael J Himes, there are three signs which can be investigated to evaluate whether a particular path may be a suitable vocation. They are:

1. Is the work a source of joy for you? Not happiness, but joy? Joy being “the interior conviction that what one is doing is good, even if it does not make one happy or content.” Happiness is irrelevant, as it is externally dependent and capricious. But JOY is the question here.

2. Does the ability and opportunity for growth exist in you and this work?

a. Can you? Physically, mentally, spiritually, etc etc…

b. Will this work force you to stretch yourself?

3. Is this work really a way of giving yourself away to others?

I invite any brave readers to evaluate themselves according to this sort of primitive rubric. Let me know what you think.

What else is new? Been reading a document about the tortures, disappearances, murders, gov’t executed robbery, extortion, fraud, intimidation, etc of the Banzer dictatorship in Bolivia back in the day. (mid-late 70’s I think). Its pretty messed up shit. But the other thing that bothers me is “Operation Condor”… which was US (CIA) promoted, bankrolled, and institutionalized de-stabilization of most South and Latin American countries. And what happened after said de-stabilization of societies and economies? The good old CIA helped nefarious, hateful leader rise to power. … what the fuck CIA!? Literally hundreds of thousands of people died and millions more were egregiously injured (physically and otherwise) disenfranchised, and economically crushed as a fairly direct result of these actions. (PS- this is the sort of thing cussing was really meant for. So don’t anyone annoy me about that.) Damn it. I have nothing more to write about that at this moment. Except that I hope everyone likes their cheap petroleum products. And as a friend of the US Armed Forces, I feel pissed off that maybe our brave men and women aren’t dying to protect freedom and American capitalistic democracy… maybe they’re just dying to protect the investments and property of the wealthy.

Maybe all this being in Bolivia… seeing poverty… learning the truth about things I never knew happened, cause nobody taught me (my fault maybe?) is making me rail against the institutionalized marginalization of people. Institutions will always be flawed, yes, but I cannot simply accept the suffering of the poor the way it is now. And Bolivia isn’t even that poor. And yes, I know Bolivia is extremely remote from the USA. But it’s still part of this same…structure/system/institution/social order of the world. Or whatever you want to call it.

Differences between Bolivia and the USA…

· People walk a lot in Bolivia

· Accordingly, there are people out and about all the time. Walk through a US suburb and tell me what you see. Cars and houses, not people.

· Dust. Unless you’re from some really arid part of the US. And then it’s more likely to be sand than super-fine dust.

· Dogs… holy cow there’s a lot of dogs in Bolivia. And some of the stray dogs aren’t really stray. They just get kicked out of their houses during the day. And some just hang around informally with a family or whatever. It’s pretty casual. And almost none have collars (even the non-street dogs).

· Honesty… there’s a lot of corruption in the government. What’s the same though, is there’s lots of stupid rules that don’t make any sense.

· Prisons… if you can pay, you get to stay in a nice prison. Like really nice. Like better than any hotel I’ve ever been in. If not, stick your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye, cause mideival dungeons look more welcoming than these places.

· Getting out of the way… no concept whatsoever. I was carrying some 50kg bags of food for the school, and the kids really didn’t get it that I might drop a bag 4x their own bodyweight on their head if they didn’t move. So I thought it was just kids being kids. And then I was moving large quantities of gravel… older kids didn’t get it either. So I figured it might be kids being stupid kids. Then I was trying to move a wheelbarrow loaded with a couple of those food bags… and the dang teachers wouldn’t move out of the way either. They just stood in the middle of this skinny hallway I was trying to go down talking. So I was like “hey… can I get by??” and they moved over to the side… of a 4 ft wide hallway while a guy (me) with a 3.5 ft wide wheelbarrow with huge bags hanging over the sides tries to get by. (*&#@$&^%. But apparently that’s a culture thing. Whatever. It’s still really freakin annoying.

· Water… don’t drink it unless it’s boiled.

· Beer… it’s not good. Except Taquina Ice. For some odd reason. It’s not even expensive or anything.

· Exercise… ow. For some reason anaerobic activity absolutely destroys me. I did mountain climbers… and nearly died. Seriously. Running is pretty bad too, but not nearly as bad as sprinting. Why is that? Shouldn’t it be the other way around if anaerobic activity uses no oxygen? (seriously… anybody know why?)

· Trees… there aren’t. Ok, well there’s a lot of trees in the rainforests, but those are far away. In Cochabamba, there’s about a 1:100 ratio of trees to people. In Maine, it’s like 10,000,000,:1. Hah.

· Casas Anticreditos… this makes little sense to me. You can live in a house rent free with a sizeable down payment (maybe US$5000 for a decent house) for maybe 5 years, after which you get all your $$ back. ? That’s a pretty long life-cycle for making a profit… So you build a house which you aren’t going to live in for like what… maybe US$50,000…. You get $5000 for 5 years to do what with? Invest? So you make $2000, and that’s being real generous… it’ll take you 25 cycles of 5 years to regain your principal… that’s 125 years. … wtf, mate?

· Water trucks… that leak. A lot. So I understand that there isn’t infrastructure to bring water to the poor, unimportant people out here in the Zona Sur, cause nobody cares about them in the gov’t. So they have water trucks that bring water and fill up everyone’s old oil drums to use for… anything they need water for. But why the hell do all of the trucks leak terribly? There isn’t any shortage of metal or welding material… so do the water truck companies just not care that their trucks are leaking their product everywhere? You can always figure out where the water trucks are for two reasons. 1) They incessantly blare their damn loud airhorns. At 5 in the morning when they come around. 2) You can follow the ridiculous water trails down the cobblestone roads. But only for about 3 minutes, cause it takes about that long for the insano sun to scorch the rocks back to their normal humidity forsaken state.

· Sun… it feels about 3x stronger here in Bolivia. Whether it’s being closer to the equator or being at almost 3000m or the atmosphere is just being a bitch right now… it takes about 1 minute of direct sun exposure before you feel like a sun dried raisin. And the air feels like that too. And the ground feels like that. It’s kindof like being inside of a kiln, I imagine. Dust, dry air, fire-like rays cooking you like a convection oven.

· English… everyone says they want to learn, but nobody is determined enough to do it. Except for the kids who have to study it in school. Oh well.

· MICHAEL JACKSON. What the heck? He’s a major deity down here…. ? what gives? Doesn’t anybody realize he was really, really creepy and sketchy?? I don’t care if he sold a billion records… he touched kids people!! And he completely and cruelly rejected his particular melanin concentration with a big middle finger to all of the black people of the world. And then told God to eff off too by completely redesigning his face. And he didn’t even look good after all that. He looked like an malnourished albino bat with a serious case of hepatitis. Sorry he died, btw. But seriously.

· Breasts… have no sexual significance in Quechua or Aymara culture. But thighs do. Like don’t wear shorts above your knees or you’re flashing everyone. Weird? Maybe we’re the weird ones. That makes more sense if you think about it. There’s enough western influence, however, that there are some rather scandalous women wearing short skirts/shorts around.

· Urinating/Excreting. Totally normal and natural life functions. So why hide it? Actually, the women have it better. Their big skirts can hide anything… so just give a half a whirl and pop a squat. Dudes just piss wherever. No big deal. Like on the street in the middle of the city.

· Seasons. Make no sense at all. I just sat outside in the sun wearing only shorts and felt like I was inside of an oven. Or at least how I imagine the inside of an oven would feel. And It’s still winter! It’s dry and hot… in the winter. It starts to rain here in Nov, and will be soggy until maybe april or may. But not hot. Which makes sense, cause that’s the summer season. What the heck…

Well… I’m tired of writing now. Ask me about my birthday. I’ll write about that later.

And a quoted paragraph…

“There are as many reasons not to serve others, not to act for justice, not to assist those who suffer, not to defend the oppressed, as there are reasons to do so. We may not act because of insecurity about our own value and ability, and so we worry that we cannot do anyting effectively. We may not act because of a placidity which is thinly separated from sloth or becasuse of a selfishness that is damnably close to malice. But sometimes- I am inclined to think many times- we do not act because we cannot imagine what to do.”

^stick that in your pipe and smoke it…

So I decided that I want to be … revolutionary. That I want to be nonconformist. I don’t want to be socially contrarian though… that’s just pointlessly annoying. So I do not want to go out and do weird things just for the sake of doing weird things or for attention… but I want to do what I want to do, regardless of what social customs dictate regarding the subject. Which is sometimes actually hard to imagine… just because I know I’m already so conditioned by … previous experiences. On another note, that’s why I don’t think all you old(er) folks should necessarily write of young people as fools… yes I would agree that most young people are not really with it…but I also contend that perhaps inexperience can sometimes be linked with a lack of bias, a lack of negative experience, a lack of prejuidice, cynicism, and pessimism. So if I feel like wearing different clothes or living in a different kind of house or living a different kind of life, one not in an infernally sterile and unimaginative suburb nor in an apartment nor in a mansion… I will. It’ll be a Rytopia. Or a Bro-ranch. Or maybe it’ll be a self-designed commune. Or maybe the first nudist colony above the arctic circle… But I won’t do it just to be contrarian.