Harbinger of a Mercurial Malestrom

I'm out. Or maybe I'm in... Did I just take my chips off the table, or put them back on? I think back on, because I feel like I'm gambling now, taking a chance at something better for me... something that I'm supposed to do. I almost punched a guy when I was trying to finalize my separation papers today. Apparently you're supposed to swear into the IRR (individual ready reserve) in uniform, which is funny, cause the instructions on the paper I had said to report in civilian attire. And this yeoman told me to show up in civvies too... then he was like "oh, you have to be in uniform". I told him I was leaving in 30 minutes and had no uniforms. they were packed up and gone, so that was just too bad. He tried to argue and tell me that he told me to show up in uniform, but he was dead wrong. and then he went and checked and, oh yeah... you can swear in in civvies. Thanks for almost wasting 3 hours of both of our lives, ding dong. Oh well. In any event, I've solemnly sworn for the third or fourth time in my life to protect and defend the constitution of the USA. I'm sure I'll end up doing that one way or another. No doubt. I've told lots of people that I haven't decided whether or not I'm going to come back, and that's true. It's been an almost daily change since the process started... "Yes, of course I'll come back" or "No way Jose."... for the last few days it's been a "No way Jose" sorta day... but then Margaret Kratz pointed out that it was finals week and EVERYONE wants to leave and not come back by the end of the semester during finals week... touche. I suppose that seems obvious at this point, but it hadn't really occurred to me until she said that. Hmm. pense, pense As I was saying goodbye to one of my close friends, I told her, "You're one of the good ones." I knew what I meant, but later, while trying to quantify, or at least specifically qualify the components of "a good one" it became somewhat less obvious. The first thing that I was sure of that a "good one" is innately a good person. And whether or not that effects itself in ways they appreciate or not, they cannot escape that. Though it's actually much more convenient to be unjust and self-serving sometimes, these inherently good people cannot. It's like a conscience that's stronger than them. So whether or not they are actually noble people (on an id level), their actions are. And I can't figure out much beyond that. This quality that is beyond description... this "it" does not guarantee success. It does not guarantee that a person knows the right answers or makes the right decision... I am thinking of people at the Academy who I know (not terribly well necessarily... that doesn't seem to be necessary to determine if someone has "it") have it, but probably would be better off other places. Not that they wouldn't do well in the CG, just I think they would be better served and serve better in some other capacity. All I know is that people with "it" are just that much more alive and awake than others... they don't float through life on autopilot (autopilot can be a very predictable, successful path, don't get me wrong). In other news, I recently realized it bugs me when people write that they like to be spontaneous (oh? you don't like to be droll, banal, and unoriginal?). Mostly cause if they actually did, they wouldn't write that, cause then when they did something spontaneous, their friends would really be surprised. and that's sorta half the point of spontaneity. Plus the people who claim to "love to do spontaneous things" are often really boring and not spontaneous at all... about as exciting as Mr. Rogers. (OOh... what is he going to do today? wear a sweater and talk to a puppet that lives in a castle? oh that crazy old guy...). So I continue to change my plans for my sabbatical... feel free to throw out ideas that I might be interested in! Peace, all